Diet Supplement

The hoomans recently purchased a book from amazon.com on alternative medicine which advocates the idea of eating one's own feces as a diet supplement. Feces contains probiotic benefits by increasing the amount of useful bacteria in the body which helps to prevent constipation and enhance the immune functions. With that, poor me is the subject of testing and a lab dog for their so called experiment in the name of health.

Apparently morning poop is the best due to its high bacteria content...

... but I tell ya, anything coming out of the digestive system in the morning can really stinks one to high heaven.

As per the instructions in the book, the feces has to be spread out and dried under the sun for 2 days before consumption.

The sun-dried feces has a brownish color to it due to oxidization process and this suppose to rid the poop of any stinking smell...

... but one thing for sure, the smell still lingers and it ain't nice.

Are you sure this is edible, Mr. Know-It-All?

This stuff does not look like a palatable snack to me at all.

*sniff! sniff!* Ewww!... can I have some salt or pepper to go with this?

Yucks!... this tastes like shit... no kidding.

This is the most offensive thing I've ever eaten in my life...

... as the pungent rancid taste overwhelm my senses and hit straight up my nostrils.

Blech!... I think I'm gonna puke.

Those are certainly not feces but healthy and tasty chicken treats.

Just add some water, mash up the treats with a spoon...

... and with a bit of creativity, we have some tasty "shit".

*pei laughter* BOL!... sorry I crack myself up... hope I put a smile on you this April Fool's Day and make your day brighter.

Pei ess: Attention to all puppies, please do not try this at home, the poop eating that is... and there is no such book promoting feces eating, it's just a fictitious book cover :)

Dog Park Serengeti

This is hero's koko here penning an entry on this little blog. Living in a city, cheche and I would often bring hero to dog parks all over the vicinity of town. Be it in a wealthy neighborhood enclave on the upper side of town or the crowded public parks littered with plastic bottles and sun-dried poos. No matter where we go to in this city, the mixture of dogs and their hoomans are just the same everywhere. With this in mind, I would like to present an anthropological study of the 10 dog breeds based on our observation of the stereotypes at dog parks.

The Fashionista Dog

Scientific Name: Blinkus Divanus

Species Behaviour: Dressed to the nines irrespective of occasion or the scorching sun.

Responsive Call: Here sweetie, let mommy look at you!

Breed Info: The fashionista dog is usually a small breed female, and most likely is the only dog in the family. They are most often the attraction at the park with their little bodies wrapped in the latest fashion from Dogue where curious onlookers would stop to have a look or snap a picture. In recent years, perhaps due to the side effect of global warming on hooman sanity, the fashionista dog remains as colorful as a rainbow, but minus the layer of clothing.

The Sniffer Dog

Scientific Name: Non-Stoppus Sniffus

Species Behaviour: Most busy with it’s perpetual sniffing of everything in sight, seldom hold up its head for more than 3 seconds.

Responsive Call: easy!.. Easy!.. EEEASY!

Breed Info: Always staying ahead of its hooman With the hooman always struggling to keep pace, this busy bee breed is the most attentively engaged dog at the park as no peemails are left unread. Drainage holes, scattered poos, rubbish bins, or even stranger's groin do not escape the wet nose therapy of this breed. Sometimes, in a blur of non-stop sniffing action, the sniffer dog does not has any recollection of a dog park visit upon reaching home.

The Chauffeured Dog

Scientific Name: Tricyclus Bikus

Species Behaviour: Nonchalantly riding on a push stroller or a trailer behind the hooman’s bicycle.

Responsive Call: You alright back there, honey?

Breed Info: Going to the dog park for this breed is no different than sitting in front of a fan at home except for the dust intake quotient change in scenery. Studies have shown that the symbiotic relation of the chauffeured dog and its hooman is still evolving as most often the dog's drinking water is totally consumed by the panting hooman at the end of each visit to the dog park.

The Infantry Dog

Scientific Name: Obedientus Maximulus

Species Behaviour: Always walking within a whisker of the hooman, looking tense and waiting for the next command.

Responsive Call: HEAL! STAY! SIT!

Breed Info: Whilst onlookers may admire their showmanship, the infantry dogs show infallible pack order with their hoomans and would make any Caesar Millan wannabe proud. It's normal to see a treat pouch strapped to the waist of the hooman who constantly has his sight set on the infantry dog as god forbid should the dog move out of line momentarily. With this pair, barking is normally done by the hooman.

The Hand Held Dog

Scientific Name: Canis Mobilitus

Species Behaviour: Curled up on the hooman’s arm with groggy eyes oblivious to its surroundings.

Responsive Call: Are you tire? Wanna go back inside mommy’s bag?

Breed Info: Often thought as a close cousin of the chauffeured dog, over the years, the hand held dog has evolved from low land mammal to higher ground vegetation. Dog parks may not be the natural habitat for this small breed who is more at ease sleeping inside a designer pooch bag whilst her hooman sips afternoon tea at swanky cafes. Dog park sightings of this breed is extremely rare save for the few appearances mainly due to the hoomans getting hopelessly lost.

The Marker Dog

Scientific Name: Peeis Everywolus

Species Behaviour: Lifting its hind leg every 5 seconds to sprout pee on all things standing.

Responsive Call: Oops, sorry about that!

Breed Info: A distant relative to busy bee sniffer dog, you can always spot a marker dog from far as he zig zag across the walk way shooting pee at lamp posts, dustbins or sometimes innocent bystanders. Experience visitors to the park would know of the dog presence by recognizing hooman shrieks from afar. The trick to avoid being baptise by a marker dog is to stay clear of his way or keep moving and never stand still under any circumstances.

The Napoleon Pack

Scientific Name: Safetus Numerus

Species Behaviour: Normally seen in numbers and mostly are small breeds that would never loiter far from the pack.

Responsive Call: Come back here, baby!

Breed Info: Do not be fooled by the size of this breed, together in a group, these small dogs can unleash the most insane, merciless flash mob bark. Membership to this pack is exclusive but fashionista dog usually have direct entry to the group whilst other breeds may need to wait for tribal approval, which meets regularly under the shaded trees at the park. Big breeds are automatically banned for life.

The ESPN Dog

Scientific Name: Energisus Bunnicus

Species Behaviour: Sprinting to and forth retrieving tennis balls or frisbees religiously without a break.

Responsive Call: Go fetch!

Breed Info: This is a breed where you would not want to be caught in his path to a moving object. This breed can strive best in pockets of open area at the park, which they are normally found. Usually can be seen zooming around the park, but there are reported cases of children's play toys or balls going missing in their presence. Hoomans are known to get skin abrasion or pulled muscle due to the espn dog reflex on seeing a stray tennis ball.

The Humper Dog

Scientific Name: Gigantus Testosteronus

Species Behaviour: Trying to mate with every dog in sight or any visually similar objects.

Responsive Call: What are you doing? Not AGAIN! Stop it!

Breed Info: Usually is the only male dog in the family, the humper dog exhibits strong amorous disposition towards any breathing object. When this breed is not humping on unsuspecting bitch, he is often seen in an upright position against the hooman's legs or tree trunks. Suspicion is high that water pools set-up at dog parks are actually meant for humper dogs to get cold shower treatment to keep their addiction under control.

The Lost Dog

Scientific Name: Canis Cluelessus

Species Behaviour: Appears out of nowhere and disappears into the crowd only to re-appears when least expected.

Responsive Call: No known results as of today.

Breed Info: This specie can be found at almost all the dog parks and it comes in all sizes. The scientific community is still looking for an answer to this specie and its origin remains a mystery but mostly thought it could be one of Jesse James's dogs.

As for hero, I hate to admit it, he is probably a cross between a sniffer and a marker dog, as he does inherit all the traits that would make any trip to the dog park a potentially embarrassing affair. Do tell what type of breed are you at the dog park, or are these breeds indigenous only to this part of the world? Is there any undiscovered specie out there you may like to share? It's a jungle out there, ain't it.

Of Award and Gas

When it comes to getting blog awards, it's not a matter of having one too many of the same award, but it's the thought that counts, and I'm happy to receive the Sunshine and Sprinkle awards from wyldechylde. Thanks for the wardies, my friend. You are indeed sprinkles of sunshine to all of us.

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This is me in front with the hoomans enjoying a relaxing car ride in the confine of the air-conditioned pei mobile after supper.

In a matter of seconds, the tranquility is broken as the startled hoomans swear and curse... with me at the far back pretending to look at cars...

... as I just stink the hoomans to high heaven with my fart... hey, everyone is innocent until proven guilty, 'kay :)

Award and Ice-Cream

I was bestowed the Versatile Blogger award by Zelle, Buddy/Ginger and Luna. Not forgetting Dory and Lola whom also extented the award to me. Thanks a lot, my furiends, I love all of you. The rule says that I must list down seven things about myself. Here goes;

1. I was born in Indonesia by parents from US and now residing in Malaysia.
2. I'm allergic to food rich in beta-carotene such as carrot and sweet potato.
3. I suffer from Sharpei fever occasionally and need my colchicine tablets.
4. I like to play hide and seek with Cheche and will yelps if I can't find her.
5. I have my teeth brushed thrice a week at night.
6. My favorite snack is roasted chestnut.
7. I like to swim but I dislike baths.

I would like to pass this award to all my furiends that reads my blog and hope you'll accept this little token of appreciation.

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Girls are made of sugar and spice,

and all that's nice

Boys are made of frogs and snails,

and puppy-dogs' tails

Recently, my girl, Twix, was having a boo-boo period and not feeling too chirpy, so Twix's thoughtful daddy gave her some ice-cream to cheer her up. Well, one thing I can tell ya for sure, there's a huge difference between Twix and me when it comes to having our ice-cream.

With such an angelic expression, Twix would politely asked for a share of the ice-cream...

... where she would softly licked the ice-cream with such femininity of a lady.

On the other paw, as for me, I would just forcefully launched myself towards the ice-cream and started licking clumsily...

... making sure I slurped up every drop before giving the hooman my dissatisfied "Is that all?" look.

*Overheard the hooman:* With hero, we can throw etiquette out of the window.

Okay, I gotta go, I think they ate the baguette and threw it out the window.

Dragonfly Treat

Oh boy! A dragonfly... me likes dragonfly.

Besides durian, I also enjoy eating dragonflies.

It is one of my favorite snacks...

... fill with crunchy, gooey goodness.

Yummy Yum Yum!

*munching* Nom nom nom!

Happy April Fools' Day!... You didn't believe I would eat such a pretty insect, right? Errr... right?

This dragonfly has a mass of eggs on its tail too... she was immediately released to continue her journey of finding a water source to lay her eggs.

Awards and a Hunt

My little chihuahua furiend, Cocorue, gave me this nice award in conjunction with friends appreciation day. Thanks, Coco, you're the sweetest and definitely the sprinkles on our life indeed.

My visla furiend, Dennis the Visla also presented me with this pawsome sunshine award. Dennis together with Tucker, Trixie and Trouble the kitty, always has interesting and entertaining shows going on at their blog. I would like to pass the awards along to all my furiends out there. Please accept the awards for you all are my sunshine.

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Meanwhile in the stillness of the African night, a predator is on the hunt. He is stalking his prey under the moonlit sky, moving slowly and carefully into striking distance before making his move.

With a sudden pounce, the prey is ambushed and brought down without a chance of escaping its death grip.

The powerful jaw muscle of the fearless hunter tears out the limb of its prey in a single bite.

Retreating to the safety of his lair, the predator starts devouring its fresh kill.

The taste of blood and flesh is a welcome change, as the predator has gone without food for days in the harsh untamed African wilderness.

If only this kill can last through the drought season until the rain brings life back to this unforgiving savanna.

Note from koko: This is what happens when one watches too much Animal Planet on Discovery channel.

Pei ess: The stuffie involved is as good as new after its limb re-attachment surgery. No other stuffies were harmed in the imaginary role play exercise.

Dog Pile Contest

In conjunction with the Mango Minster Dog Show, there are numerous side shows happening simultaneously and one of the sanctioned events is the Dog Pile Contest organized by Biggie. Whilst most dogs need to undergo hours of daily training for such a demanding contest, me on the other hand, is a natural when it comes to dog pile. Below is my entry for the contest.

Can you spot the piles on my tooshie?

Yes, I know... what can I say, I'm a Bad Bad Sport.

It's My Bad, Ms. Putty Tat

So, the Mango Minster dog show is in full swing now and the impending judgement day is fast approaching. The entries are pouring in for all the categories and the appointed judges have been kept busy scouring through all the formidable contestants. As for me, I'm competing under the Bad Sports category. I'm please to report that no amount of bribes (not for the lack of trying) can seem to sway the honorable judge in Ike, the boston terrier. As such, it's going down to the wire in choosing the deserving winner for this category and Ike has called on all entrants to do a post on why we're such a bad sport. With that, in the name of sportdogship or in this case should I say non-sportdogship, I will spill the beans with this shameless bad sport post.

Ike has been most kind by putting it subtly "Perhaps you like to chase a cat for fun... consider yourself a bad sport!". Well, chase a cat I did, but the fun was all mine as the cat ended close to 40-feet up on the tree top.

This happened sometime back when my hoomans took me for a walk at the park. Since it was late afternoon and the park was kind of empty, koko decided to unleash my goodself for some casual running around. But little did he know there was a cat nearby and before he could uttered the HBO words, I went after the cat like a mad rabid dog on steroid. The terrorized cat ran for its dear life and climbed onto the top of a tree faster than one can say Jack Robinson. What goes up must come down, as the saying goes but in this case, what went up stayed up until the rescue team from Fire & Rescue Department arrived... oops, my bad.

Fire truck at the park... not a good sign.

A personnel from the rescue team starting his climb up...

... the 40-feet tree. Can you spot the cat?

After a careful ascend, the fireman almost reaching the target.

Tauwght I taw a putty tat!

Finally the cat was in safe hands.

I have to observe all the actions at the side...

... as I was not allowed to go near in case the cat saw me again.

Cat in the sack on the way down.

Mr. Owner of the cat was pretty cool about the incident...

... but Ms. Putty Tat was not too please with it... understandably.

Get that freaking dawg away from me! I want a restraining order! Where's my lawyer?

No animal was hurt in the dramatic event, but resulted in a traumatized feline, almost had a heart-attacked hoomans, some taxpayers' money and perhaps a missed donut-break for four firemen. Oh! I forgot, and the making of a bad, bad sport.

You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad

You Know It

You Know I'm Bad

You Know, Hoo!

You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad

You Know It, You Know

And The Whole World Has To

Answer Right Now

Just To Tell You

Once Again...

Who's Bad?

- Michael Jackson